How to Handle Stress During The Divorce Process

 The words divorce and stress can almost be translated to mean the same thing. Even during the divorce process, in a simple, uncontested divorce, there will be stress. When a couple marries, they do so fully intending to be together “until death do us part.” And especially when there have been children born into the union, the idea of breaking up a marriage, a home, and a family is difficult and a cause for stess. Too, if there has been infidelity and there is already another love in the picture, the level of stress is sometimes almost more than a person can bear. Stress cannot be eliminated, but it can be lessened. Here are some tips to help handle stress during the divorce process:

·       Try to focus on yourself and be good to yourself. Take time each day to do something you enjoy—a good book, a walk in the park, a conversation with a close friend, or a trip to your favorite eatery.

·       Exercise daily: It has been proven exercise reduces stress. Vigorous exercise is best, but even a short brisk walk or swim, if you have access to a pool, will help.

·       Eat foods that provide maximum health benefits. This is not a good time to diet or “pig-out” on fast food or carbs. Try to keep a regular schedule for your eating. Many people find small meals throughout the day work best rather than three big meals. Include some sweets for energy and to help feel satisfied.

·       Join a support group of folks going through the same thing you are or any group of similar interests, such as gardening, woodworking, cooking, fishing, or antique cars. Being with people will help take your mind off the divorce and often provides new friends and possibly even a future love interest.

·       Make sure you get enough sleep, at least six to eight hours a night. Often a short afternoon nap is helpful. Sometimes it is difficult to sleep, so you may need to check with your physician about an aid for sleeping.

·       Find a certified family counselor or therapist. These professionals are trained to listen and to help a person with divorce stress. Learning to deal with stress and to redirect your thoughts is useful during the divorce process and a good carryover when the divorce is final.

·       Have as little contact as possible with the other party. And when you must communicate, try to stay calm. Sometimes having a friend with you during the contact will reduce stress.

·       Be honest with your children but avoid sharing difficult details. Keep reassuring children, especially young ones, that the divorce is not their fault and that they are loved by both parents.

·       Stay away from social media, especially things like Facebook. There can often be upsetting pictures and comments regarding you and your spouse and the impending divorce. Unfortunately, people you thought were your friends will side with “the other party” and leave you feeling all the more alone and abandoned, thus creating a lot of stress.

·       Listen to uplifting music, watch positive movies, and read books that make you laugh.

·       If you are a spiritual person, reach out to your beliefs and those you share these beliefs with. Prayer does wonders.

Yes, there is no doubt divorce stress is a major outcome when a divorce is in progress. But you can be the winner when you focus on being the best you can be and take each day as a gift (the present). Believe in yourself and know the future can hold an exciting promise of good things to come, both financially and emotionally. Don’t let stress override your life—take the bull by the horns—you can do it!!